I’m Scared

I’ve been sitting on a book for months. It’s a book I absolutely believe in. Not only is it what I imagined in my head when the idea first came to me, but it’s better in so many other ways. And I don’t want to submit it.

I’m scared that I’m going to hear this book isn’t as good as I think it is. Or that it is but it’s just not right.  It’s not hot enough. It’s not good enough to be published.

Doesn’t matter that the stars may align and someone would take this book, but I’m scared that this book will go into the grave yard. My solution is to do nothing, which by default puts the book in the grave yard. But I reason with myself at least it’s not forced to be there. I’ve got control of the outcome.

I hate that I feel I need to do this. Worse, since I know I’m doing this, what is the point of writing any other book? I know I can finish a novel. I know I’ll always have stories floating around in my head, but since I have no intent to get them published why put myself through the misery of the dreaded middle?

The only solution is to submit the book. Admitting my fear is nice and all, but it means nothing if I don’t do anything about. Other wise I’m just bitching and wallowing. And I know I won’t be able to write until I do this.

So would it be asking too much for ya’ll to hold my hand? Also, what’s got you scared?